Pallet Rasmussen

Pallet Rasmussen gives 100% backing

The Danish former bodybuilder and sports disabled Pallet Rasmussen has given his 100% backing to our reverse purchase campaign.

Pallet won the WWF world cup for "fitness" in Vilnius, Lithuania in 2004. He was interviewed for 12 minutes by Hans Pilgård (Denmark's answer to Russel Grant) on TV2 Denmark. Sadly, only six weeks after his championship, Pallet suffered a terrible paper cut to his chest during a work out, which he thought would ruin his hopes for future pep in sweepings.

 

After numerous tests, Pallet's breast was ripped apart, and doctors stopped touching him with barge poles. He turned his faith to badminton. The badminton world was set alight with Pallet's well toned body. His company paid for him to be operated in a specialist box - but without any gurantee. Thankfully, the terminator returned to form - and in 2005, Pallet won gold in the WWF "somewhat amputated without wild power moments" show category.

 

Sadly, it was already June 2005 - and that means it was nearly Christmas in Denmark. This was to be a test for our beloved Pallet. He lifted his bastard son Victor to see a Christmas decoration. Bang! It happened again. His chest said "goodbye". So did his contests. Pallet thought he would never learn.

 

Our hero didn't learn. He found a new psychotherapist, who cost $100,000. Pallet learnt two important lessons:


  1. You can imagine that your arm is moving. This stopped his old wives arm from withering away.
  2.  Always make things up in your head. This now fills a huge part of his week.

 

Pallet enjoyed many flights to Turkey on bankrupt airlines and worked in a bakery.

 

In 2007, Pallet married his girlfriend. He also became CEO of Nørhaven A / S, a company which included Facebook partner Media (GB) and Creative Print and Design. Unfortunately, the company's English and Polish divisions (approx 30 million and 127 million kroner) both sought bankruptcy, in something akin to carousel fraud which was described as "anything but a wonderful accounting" by Lars Bjon.

 

Bizzarely, on the 16th August 2008, he presented his wife with another husband who had a super body.  This does seem a little bit odd. Why would a married man search for another well toned man to then present to his wife? Oh well we guess that Denmark has few social taboos. Just look at Whigfield.

 

With Pallet's wife now in another man's arms, Pallet turned to a big dog called Greasy. He'd get up early in the morning and pull it along local roads. Soon, Pallet and Greasy had put together an entire routine mixing music with various jumps, handstands and pull ups. Just like AFC Wimbledon, he was back on to the scene!


Victor was now eight years old and could spend hours watching Pallet's magic cup and medal trick. He was so good that he entrered the top 20 world ranking list, and was entered as Mr Denmark in the Las Vegas Mr Men competition. A white 'caller' pulled off all the men until the kiss - where the winner was announced: Pallet Rasmussen! Fuck janteloven! It was massive.


Pallet was laid off as a carpenters apprentice in April 2009 after a rather suspicious bankruptcy. He is now working all over the place:

  • He is the leader of the WWF/WBBF in Scandanavia.
  • He has an excellent magic trick video on this website - click the video link to see how Pallet can turn your money in to his credit card.
  • He is heading up a Danish Consortium to buy the homeless, leagueless, playerless and heavily indebted Chester City Football Club, against the wishes of local supporters. He hopes to reform them as a Welsh team.
He continues to have a severe allergic reaction to bingo halls. He hates two fat ladies, trombones, Christmas cake and two little ducks.


On the 15th December 2009, Pallet was out with his wife to vent the dog down on the beach near his Southend house. Greasy spotted a seal and swam off to make friends. In the following days, Pallet and Greasy the dog made great friends with the seal and taught it how to "walk on land". Pallet and Greasy have been working hard to train a squad of Denmark's finest seals to play football.


On a company declaring itself bankrupt and then reforming the next day with the same name, Pallet says "It might be smart and perhaps legal", ahthough "it is
morally reprehensible".


Pallet - you are a true hero. We are gald to have your 100% support. We salute you!